Attention Kids: Download These Drugs

By that I mean, I-dosing! You can get high from mp3s! Come on, all the cool kids are doing it! I prefer to snort them, but administration by enema is also effective. Note: if you do actually attempt this please send me video. I promise I won't immediately post it.

Despite that I-dosing is obivously bullsh*t, the news media never fails to wring some alarmism from something that kids are doing:



Hey kids, do you have your Silver Shamrock masks?

My favorite thing about this story is how it drips with moral panic - "Parents, don't let your kids listen to these!" Then half-way through, "Here's what they sound like." Have you idiots never seen the Halloween movies!?!?! Now pardon me while I exchange unprotected sex for mp3s and steal cars in order to support my habit before going on a cackling psychotic shooting rampage. I-dose! I-dose! (Never trust a junkie.)

OR, alternatively, you could just listen to Cast Iron Crow, which is to I-tunes as DMT is to Pez and will cause your brain to melt out of your nose and then re-solidify into the form of Bruce Lee and then kick your ass for being a pussy.